Voice · 14 poems

Things I write

5 in English, 9 in Hinglish. About mothers, daughters, sons, longing, distance, love. Kept in Apple Notes for years — here in print for the first time. Read in any order.

Poem 01

Gifts from Life

12 stanzas · a meditation on what life gives us

Opening my eyes to this beautiful world

I see the creator of my life,

Life gave me the gift of mother;

To be loved, nurtured, and cared for,

In the struggle to get up after a fall

I see the person who lifts me up,

Life gave me the gift of a father;

To be loved and feel secure,

When I'm a blank canvas and lost

I see what helps me build my existence,

Life gave me the gift of a teacher;

To guide me through it's path,

Try to cope with the ups and downs of life

I see the person who's always with me,

Life gave me the gift of a sister;

To share my happiness and sadness,

When love loses its meaning, and I'm fading

I see what helps me to hold on to it,

Life gave me the gift of motherhood;

To teach me the meaning of love,

In a world where everyone comes and goes alone

I see what helps me through this forsaken journey,

Life gave me the gift of a husband;

To have someone to belong to,

In the moments when I feel nothing is right

I see what brings me comfort,

Life gave me the gift of a friend;

To have a shoulder to cry on,

In the midst of all that is happening

I see a smile on my face, trying to push through,

Life gave me the gift of joy;

To enjoy it's beauty and gifts,

When I start becoming scornful

I see what teaches me a lesson,

Life gave me the gift of pain;

To make me grounded and grateful,

When I go blind with my fantasies

I see what opens my eyes,

Life gave me the gift of loss;

To enlighten me of the world,

When agony and grief overwhelm me

I see what cuts through my bitterness,

Life gave me the gift of love;

To make me kind and benevolent,

Where everything and everyone is just temporary

I see what helps me treasure the evanescent,

Life gave me the gift of art;

To be able to express myself.

·

Poem 02

What am I going to do?

Sometimes I want to get under your skin,

Invade your brain and see

What you don’t let me see.

The good part, the bad part.

The happy you, the sad you.

The excited you, the depressed you.

The crazy you, the sane you.

The mad you, the funny you.

The awesome you, the worst you.

The out of control you, the composed you.

Each and every part of your personality,

The things which trouble you.

Things which you hate

Things which make you happy

Things which you love

Things that can’t help you from smiling

Your all worries

Your all pain

Your all botheration

Your all anxiety

I want to take it all away from you.

And give you,

Your smile

Your pleasure

Your happiness

Your satisfaction

Your peace

Your composure.

I can’t help but not look at you.

You’re the most beautiful person for me to look at.

Everyone else just seems to wither me off.

How can I not look at you?

You’re beyond my capability of resistance.

From the sound of your laugh

To the deepness of your eyes,

There’s nothing I don’t love.

What am I going to do?

·

Poem 03

Rushing to be Okay

He walks like he has no troubles.

His eyes make me feel lost

I hope he never struggles

Wondering how much he’s worth

I die a little every time

He talks about his feelings.

He says that it’ll happen anytime

I suffer, because of the love

He knows the meaning

Even though on daily basis,

Sometimes we barely talk.

But for how long I’ve been hoping

For the one day to go on the special walk.

The rain is falling,

And I still don’t know what to do.

The days keep passing,

And I’m still not that part of you.

You without a smile

Is a strange thing to see,

Me without a tear,

Shows the patience I feel.

I can’t keep talking about it,

With the people that I know.

I know I don’t have a chance,

But in my mind everything’s real.

I only pray it doesn’t take a lot of time

For this pain in my heart to heal.

I hope it’s just a matter of time,

That will soon pass away

But I can’t wait, I’m in a rush,

To finally say that I’m okay.

·

Poem 05· Hinglish

Mera Lalla

to my son

Mera Lalla,

Tere aane se pehle,

Ek kami thi,

Unkaha dard tha,

Khalipan tha;

Tere aane se,

Mai puri ho gayi,

Mere dard mit gaye,

Mere dil ke zakham bhar gaye;

Ek ehsaas jaga mujh mai

Jise liye lavs nahi hai mere paas;

Ek aisa pyaar mehsoos kiya,

Jo ab tak mujhe chhu nahi paya tha;

Ek lau jali mujh mai,

Jo har roz gehri hoti hai.

Mera Lalla,

Mera tukda hai tu,

Meri saans hai tu;

Mujhe maa banaya tune,

Meri mamta ka prateek hai tu;

Itna sona banaya tujhe Bhagwan ne,

Meri nazar na lage tujhe.

Mera Lalla,

Tere aansu girte hi,

Aankan meri bhar aati hai;

Tu door hai toh,

Mann mera ghabrata hai;

Tujhe kuch ho jaaye toh,

Chain nahi aata mujhe.

Mera Lalla,

Teri zindagi ke har padav pe,

Garv se muskuraungi mai;

Teri har mushkil mein,

Saath khadi rahungi mai;

Tere dard mein, teri khushi mein

Kabhi chodke na jaungi mai.

Mera Lalla,

Itna masoom hai tu,

Kabhi jaan na payega tu;

Meri aakhon mai basta hai tu,

Kabhi dekh na payega tu;

Pyaar tujhe kitna karti hu,

Kabhi samajh na paayega tu.

Mera Lalla.

·

Poem 06· Hinglish

Tum ho

Tum ho

Toh mai hu

Tum ho

Toh saansein hain

Tum ho

Toh zindagi hai

Tum ho

Toh muskan hai

Tum ho

Toh Khushi hai

Tum ho

Toh roshni hai

Tum ho

Toh dil gaata hai

Tum ho

Toh rang hai

Tum ho

Toh pyaar hai

Tum ho

Toh jeene ka mann karta hai

Tum ho

Toh hamara yeh Sansar hai

Tum nahi

Toh kuch nahi

·

Poem 07

Consumed

Consumed.

When we see each other,

There is nothing else.

He is mine and

I am his.

When we see each other,

There is unexplainable love.

The eyes say everything,

And words have no meaning.

When we see each other;

There is a burning desire,

It can only be satiated

When we consume one another

When he looks at me,

I feel he’s consuming me;

I can feel all of him

And he can feel all of me too.

When he comes close,

A chill travels down my spine

My heart beat rises;

My body aches for him;

When he touches me,

I feel warmth;

I feel desired;

I feel loved.

When he kisses me,

Holds me, pulls me close;

I’m intoxicated by him;

All I want is him.

When he hugs me,

I feel taken by him,

I belong to him;

And the world disappears in his arms.

·

Poem 08· Hinglish

Tum aur Mai

Kahan se shuru karu mai

Yeh kya ho gaya hai

Lavs nahi hai mere paas

Is ehsaas ko bayan karne ke liye

Tumne jab dekha mujhe

Tumse mohabbat ho gayi

Tumhari ek nazar ne

Jaank liya meri rooh mai

Yeh jo pyaar hai tumhara

Mere dil ko pagal kar raha hai

Kaise kahun mai tumse

Tumhara asar is dil pe

Ek din mai hi

khudko sonp diya tumko

Aisa nasha chadha tumhara

Ki hosh hi na raha mujhko

Pata nahi hai tumhe

Kya kar diya tumne

Is waqt mai ek pal nahi

Jisme tum mere dil mai nahi

Dil mai bas gaye ho tum mere

Ab na kahin jaa paoge tum

Bas yuhin karna pyaar

Toh zindagi jee lungi mai

Mere ho na sakoge tum

Par mere ho tum

Yeh doori nahi mere haath mai

Par har pal mere saath ho tum

Intezaar rahega is dil ko

Tumse ek mulakaat ka

Jab milenge hum

Toh ek honge hum.

·

Poem 10· Hinglish

Meri Jaan

Tumhe pata hai,

Jab tum chale jaaoge,

Jab doori badh jayegi,

Jab baatein kam ho jayengi,

Jab tumhari awaz bas yaadon mai reh jayegi,

Jab tumhara chehra sirf meri aakhon mai reh jaayega,

Jab tumhara ehsaas ek khwahish ban jayegi,

Jab tumhara waqt kimti ho jayega,

Jab hamari mulakat ek sapna ban jayegi,

Toh,

Kaise iss pyaar ko nibhaungi,

Kaise tumse chahat barkarar rakhungi,

Kaise tumhara intezaar nahi karungi,

Kaise is dil ko samjhaungi,

Kaise khud ko rokungi,

Kaise mere mann ko lubhaungi,

Kaise nirash nahi houngi,

Kaise aas nahi chodungi,

Kyunki,

Jo pyaar hai hamare beech,

Woh itna majboot ho chuka hai ki,

Agar hum kabhi na mile phir se,

Agar hum kabhi baat na kar paaye ek dusre se,

Agar hum kabhi dekh na paye ek dusre ko,

Agar hum kabhi choo na paye ek dusre ko,

Toh,

Jo chahat ki hai hamari,

Jo pal saath bitaye humne,

Jo baatein ki hai humne,

Jo jaan liya hai ek dusre ko,

Jo choo liya hai ek dusre ko,

Jo jee bhara hai ek dusre se,

Jo aankhon mai basa liya hai ek dusre ko,

Woh kafi hai meri jaan.

·

Poem 11· Hinglish

Tumhari yaad

Ek khalipan sa lag raha hai

Jaise kuch choot raha hai

Mann mai ek becheni, ek udhasi

Ek darr sa lag raha hai

Pyaar toh hai bahot

Par dard ki aahat sunayi de rahi hai

Ek kami ka khaunf hai

Ki kuch aur us kami ki jagah na le

Khud pe bharosa hai

Ki nahi tutne dungi hame

But tumhare pyaar ke bina

Yeh kar nahi paungi mai

Doorie badh rahi hai

Mann ghabra raha hai

Dil ki dhadkan tez ho rahi hai

Aansun bahar aane ki zid kar rahe hai

Kaise roku is mann ko

Tumhe jaane dene ke liye

Nahi hoga mujhse

Par karna hoga is pyaar ke liye

Yaad bahot satayegi tumhari

Mere har pal mai base ho tum

Yeh yaad rakhna

Ki koi hai idhar

Pagal tumhare ishq mai.

·

Poem 12

You

Can’t stop myself from thinking about you.

You’re just constantly on my mind.

With every breath I take

I miss you.

I feel okay, fine.

Keeping myself busy with work

And all the other things I’ve taken upon!

But still, you’re with me all the time.

I can’t separate myself from you,

When sipping my coffee

While peeking outside the window

I find myself talking to you.

I feel you with me in that moment

Holding me in your embrace from the back

Feeling your breath on my neck

And taking in your scent

It makes me feel so …

Can’t really put it into words

As much as I want to define it

There’s just no way I can.

You’re in me, my love

I feel one with you

I feel connected to you every moment

You have consumed me.

·

Poem 13· Hinglish

Dard

Yeh doorie tumse

Ab ho rahi hai mehsoos

Dard ki jo aahat ka dar tha

Woh ab chala aaya hai darwaze par

Khadi hu us darwaze pe

Khud se lad rahi

Darwaze ko kholne ki nahi himmat

Par dard khat khata raha hai

Darwaza khol na nahi chahti

Par dar lag raha hai

Ki tut na jay darwaza

Aur jab tutega, toh kya?

Seh paungi darwaze ka tutna

Ki khud hi kholdu is darwaze ko

Yeh sochke ki

Shayad bardash kar paun

Is doorie ko sweekar karne mai

Jaan nikal jayegi meri

Is doorie ko samajhne mai

Waqt lagega mujhko

Kaise kaatungi is waqt ko

Jab har pal tumhari yaad

Mujhe yun satati hai

Kaise rahun tumhare bina

Tumhari baahon ka ehsaas

Tumhare aankon mai mere liye pyaar

Tumhari khushboo mere badan pe

Tumhare dil ki dhadkan ki awaz

Bas gaye ho tum mujh mai

Door hoke bhi itne paas ho tum

Ki shayad, bas shayad

Yeh darwaza na toote

·

Poem 14· Hinglish

Tumse pyaar hai mujhe

Tumhare chehre se,

Tumhare chehre pe jo chamak hai mere wajah se;

Usse pyaar hai mujhe,

Tumhari aankhon se,

Tumhari aankhon mai mere liye jo pyaar hai;

Usse pyaar hai mujhe,

Tumhari muskurahat se,

Tumhare musukurane ki wajah jo mai hu;

Usse pyaar hai mujhe,

Tumhare dil ki dhadkan se,

Tumhare dil ki jo dhadkan badhti hai mere liye;

Usse pyaar hai mujhe,

Tumhare honto se,

Tumhare honto se jo mera naam lete ho tum;

Usse pyaar hai mujhe,

Tumhare badan se,

Tumhare badan ki pyaas hai jo mere liye;

Usse pyaar hai mujhe,

Tumse pyaar hai mujhe.

·

Poem 15· Hinglish

Meri Laddo

to my daughter

Meri Laddo

Tu aayi meri zindagi mai

Ek bahar banke

Ek asha leke

Meri saans banke

Mujhe naya jeevan diya tune

Jeene ki wajah di

Tere bina aaj na hoti mai

Meri Laddo

Tu aayi meri zindagi mai

Ek bahar banke

Teri muskurahat se dil bharta hai mera

Teri aakhon mai mere liye jo pyaar dikhta hai mujhe

Us pyaar ki dor ne thame rakha hai mujhe

Meri Laddo

Tu aayi hai meri zindagi mai

Ek asha leke

Jaan se bhi zyaada pyaar karti hu tujhe

Apni jaan dungi nahi,

Par kisi aur ki lene mai katraungi nahi tere liye

Meri Laddo

Tu aayi meri zindagi mai

Meri saans banke

Kaise batau tujhe tu mere liye kya hai

Lavs nahi mere paas

Is pyaar ko bayan karne ke liye

Meri Laddo

Tu aayi mai meri zindagi mai

Meri jaan banke

Kabhi is duniya mai akeli na rahegi tu

Mai rahungi tere saath

Har kadam har mukam har padav pe

Meri Laddo

Tu aayi hai meri zindagi mai

Meri saathi banke

Tu hai toh mai hu

Tu nahi toh mai kya hu

Mere dil ke kareeb rehna tu

Meri Laddo

Tu aayi hai meri zindagi mai

Meri duniya banke

·

Poem 16· Hinglish

Maai

mother and daughter, in conversation

Maai Maai laado bulaye

Maai Maai wapis aaja

Maai Maai laado roye

Maai Maai sooni raatein

Maai Maai laado tarse

Maai Maai sapne tute

Maai Maai laado roye

Maai Maai sooni aankhen

Maai Maai laado dhundhe

Maai Maai dil toote

Maai Maai laado roye

Maai Maai soona aangan

Maai Maai laado toote

Maai Maai laado haari

Maai Maai laado roye

Maai Maai sooni laado

Maai Maai dekh toh

Aayi meri laado rani

Bharne meri sooni aankhen

Meri bitiya meri duniya

Suniya Suniya meri bitiya

Mai hu Teri Maai Maai

Tu hai meri laado rani

Maai rahe paas tere

Maai gaaye tere liye

Maai kare pyaar tujhe

Maai kare laad tujhe

Laado laado meri laado

Kaise kahe Maai tujhko

Pyaar kitna karu tujhko

Meri saansein tere liye

Meri baahein tere liye

Meri baatein tere liye

Meri raatein tere liye

Mera gaana tere liye

Mera waqt tere liye

Mera pyaar tere liye

Mera laad tere liye

Maai Maai Maai Maai

Dekh meri laado aayi

Sooni laado sooni nahi

·

— End of collection —